


Watching Over You

by Darkness_Rising



Series: Ghost Series [2]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-19
Updated: 2013-01-19
Packaged: 2017-11-26 01:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/645182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkness_Rising/pseuds/Darkness_Rising
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two short spin offs from Ghost in the Machine, both stories happening on different occasions. When Sunstreaker and Ratchet need a little guidance, Sideswipe will always be there.</p><p>Sunstreaker finds himself separated from his comrades and suddenly lacking in that flame that usually burns inside him during battle. Can his mysterious companion reignite that flame, ensuring he safely returns to Ratchet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sunstreaker

**Author's Note:**

> As both stories take place after the events of Ghost in the Machine, it is probably worth reading that first if you have not already done so. Set on Cybertron after being on Earth.

The explosions were muted from within the confines of the derelict building but the sounds were none the less intimidating, no less threatening. Amongst the debris sat a lone Autobot, contemplating his fate. Was this his time? Had fate finally come knocking on his door claiming the upper hand? He had, after all, flirted with said fate all of his life but had stepped up the ante over the last few stellar-cycles, feeling he no longer had anything to lose.

Except that was not true, Sunstreaker had everything to lose. His life for one, then there was Ratchet, his lover, his bond-mate, the only mech in his life who meant anything to him. It had not always been like that though, once there had been Sideswipe, his twin, the other half of his spark.

Sideswipe had been lost after a battle on Earth several stellar-cycles ago and the pain was still as raw now as it was then. In reality Sunstreaker should not be here, he should have followed on to the Well of Sparks when Sideswipe’s spark gave up on life, but he had not, the spark-bond the twins had shared with Ratchet had saved him, saved him yet condemned him to a life without his twin.

It was not all bad though. Sunstreaker loved Ratchet with his entire spark and Ratchet loved him equally. They had become each other’s reason for living but this did not stop the ache that plagued Sunstreaker, even now, after all this time he still craved the company of his Sideswipe, he still yearned for release from his torture so that he could be back by his twins' side. It was times like this, the heat of the battle, the place where the two had thrived and became one, that the reality would truly hit home and each time it did, it was harder to overcome; each time the desire to give up on his life grew stronger.

Sunstreaker thought about Sideswipe now and he mused, _what would he do?_

The front liner was trapped. He had been separated from his comrades and chased down until he found shelter in this dilapidated building. He had easily out run his pursuers, despite the injury that he had sustained but he knew it would only be a matter of time before his enemy stumbled across him. Sunstreaker could hear the battle nearing and part of him knew if he waited it out, his fellow Autobots would pick up on his energy signature as they moved towards him but Sunstreaker was not that patient, never had been.

 _What would you do Sideswipe?_ He silently asked.

“You could always just run out there, guns blazing!”

The golden Autobot flinched. “It’s not as if I haven’t already thought of doing that.” He snapped. “But in case you haven’t noticed, my leg doesn’t seem to lend itself to running.”

“You ran into here didn’t you?”

“Was kinda pumped up at the time, now I’ve stopped…” Sunstreaker's words trailed off.

He felt feeble, weak. Once upon a time an injury like this would not have stopped him, he and Sideswipe would rush in where others faltered, despite what incapacities they had been plagued by. Maybe several stellar-cycles of fighting without his twin by his side had taken its toll on him or maybe, Sunstreaker had finally lost his nerve.

“That sounds like an excuse to me and since when did you come up with excuses?”

Sunstreaker snorted, but he knew the comment was the truth. In the past he had never needed a reason to do, or not do anything, not when it came to battle, and neither did he make excuses. Wincing as he shifted his damaged leg, Sunstreaker made himself a little more comfortable amongst the wreckage that he hid amidst.

“I miss the old solar-cycles you know.” He paused for contemplation rather than a response. “Being feared, being part of a force to be reckoned with.” This was not the only thing that he had missed, but Sunstreaker did not want to go there right now.

“As far as I can see, you still are feared, even more so since you seem to be intent on testing the boundaries of death even further than before.”

Golden shoulders shrugged. “It’s not the same, not on my own and the other front liners…well, they don’t have the same fire in their tanks. Some of them don’t even remember this planet before the war.”

“I don’t think _I_ even remember this planet much before the war, not anymore.”

“Who’d have thought we’d finally get back here? It’s just a pity we’re still fighting over what’s left of it.” Sunstreaker slipped into his own little reverie. When on Earth, they had been under no illusion as to what state the planet would be in but that never stopped them hoping.

“Well, _you_ made it back!”

“What!?” Sunstreaker snarked, irritated at what the other said.

“I said, well you made it back!”

The comment was met with silence.

“Aw come on Sunstreaker, where’s your sense of humour?”

Sunstreaker raised an optic brow. “Seriously!?”

The golden mech's incredulous look received a chuckle. “So, what d’you plan to do then?”

The front liner considered the question for a moment. “Wait I guess.”

“Wait for what? For the ‘Cons to find you? Sounds to me that you’re giving up!”

Sunstreaker curled one of his lips in disdain. “Never!” He snarled.

“I always thought you’d go out in a blaze of glory, not a whimper.”

“Are you _trying_ to get me killed?” Sunstreaker growled.

“Quite the opposite actually! If you stay here then you’ll probably be caught, tortured, killed…” Sunstreaker glared at his tormentor. “But if you get your aft back out there then at least you have a chance, a chance to see Ratchet again.”

Shuttering his optics, Sunstreaker thought of his mate. As always, before going into battle he promised Ratchet that he would return but for some reason, he felt he would be breaking that promise this time around.

“You do want to see Ratchet again, don’t you?”

Sunstreaker was torn. The medic was his life, his _only_ reason for living and Sideswipe, he was equally his reason for dying and these solar-cycles, dying always seemed the easier option to the front liner. He thought he could he could live without Sideswipe by his side, that Ratchet would be enough for him but there were some solar-cycles when he prayed to Primus that he would not come back on-line after the next battle, or that he would just slip away to join his twin whilst in recharge, and those times were becoming more frequent.

Ratchet of course was fully aware of how Sunstreaker felt and it pained him to know that given the chance, Sunstreaker would chose to be with Sideswipe. Not that Ratchet could blame him, he still missed the crimson hellion as much now as when they first lost him but it still hurt to think that he may not be enough of a reason for Sunstreaker to remain alive; which is why he always made the wild front liner promise to return after each battle because if nothing else, Sunstreaker always kept his promises.

“Yes.” Sunstreaker quietly answered. “I’ll always want to see Ratchet but sometimes, it feels as if it isn’t enough. Is that so wrong of me to think that?”

A nearby explosion pulled the two from their conversation.

“They are getting closer Sunstreaker, are you sure this is how you want it to end? Are you sure you _want_ it to end?”

Sunstreaker thought about how it would shatter Ratchet's spark if he did not return, and he knew he could not do that to him; he loved Ratchet far too much to abandon him like that, no matter how he felt.

“I can’t do it alone, I’m…I’m scared.” The normally brutish mech surprised himself at that revelation. Ordinarily he struck fear into the sparks of those who dared cross his path but now fear had gripped at his spark, and it paralysed him.

“How about we go out there together, just like the old solar-cycles?”

Sunstreaker turned to where his companion addressed him from, wondering if he misheard him. “Together?”

“Yeah, you and me, a pair to be reckoned with.”

A wry smile temporarily played across Sunstreaker's mouth before his sadness ghosted over lips. Right now he wanted that more than anything. Right now he wanted to be able to stand proud as he once had, with his brother by his side, bringing death to any mech who dared to come close to them but now, now he could not see how that was possible. “How…how’s that even possible?”

Sunstreaker’s companion felt his hesitation. “C’mon Sunny, it’ll be a blast, we’ll strike fear into their sparks. I bet I still have it.”

“I bet you don’t, you kinda have to be a solid mass to strike fear into a mech’s spark!” Sunstreaker deadpanned and the familiar chuckle that had accompanied Sunstreaker all his life, floated into his audials.

“I think dear brother that you just raised a challenge to me and who am I to turn it down? After all, what mech would not freeze on the spot when confronted by the ghost of Sideswipe?”

It was Sunstreaker who now chuckled. It was a sound that only his twin and Ratchet would have the privilege of hearing and all of a sudden, Sunstreaker felt complete, even if it would only be for a short while.

“So, what do you say Sunny, you and me against the world?”

Sliding his optics over his twins' shimmering form, drinking in the vision, he thought he could stay like this forever, but Sideswipe read his processor.

“We can’t...stay like this, not forever. Besides, Ratchet needs you more than I do!”

That statement stung Sunstreaker. Sideswipe always needed him in the past, what was so different now? Suddenly there was the thought of Ratchet needing him and his current willingness to leave his lover alone, and Sunstreaker wondered how he could be so selfish. Of course Sideswipe no longer needed him, he was dead but Ratchet, well he was very much alive!

Shakily, the front liner got to his pedes, pain ricocheting through his sensory net as he put weight on his injured leg. Once the throbbing settled he turned back to his twin, that old glint in his optics. “C’mon then soft spark, let’s see if you’ve still got what it takes!”

Sideswipe jumped up, glad of the challenge, glad to see a bit of the old fire in Sunstreaker's optics. “Bring it on bro!”

As gun fire moved ever closer to their shelter, Sunstreaker picked up on several Autobot signatures; they were close by and moving towards his position.

All of sudden Ratchet's vocaliser resonated through his comm. system, static lining his words. “Suns…er! S…streak...”

The line dropped out but the sound of his lover calling him further fuelled the fire that his brother had ignited and at the nod of his helm, both twins tore towards a gaping hole in the decaying building, locking their optics on to one another’s as their renowned battle cry ripped through the air, muting the sounds of gun fire around them.

The sound that even struck fear into their fellow Autobots sparks still had the power to do so, and whoever was out there, whatever foe dared assume that they were safe, would never know what hit them.

Streaks of crimson and gold flew across the wasteland, their holler never waning, only increasing in volume as they moved towards their targets. They now had the attention of the nearby mechs, Decepticons and Autobots alike, and they drove forward, never faltering.

Sunstreaker was soon reunited with his comrades and the Decepticons truly had not known what happened at that moment, rendering them inept, and quickly they fell. This solar-cycle Sunstreaker would keep his promise to Ratchet. This solar-cycle he would return and he would let his lover know how much he loved him but the next solar-cycle, well he would face that when it arrived.


	2. Ratchet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two short spin offs from Ghost in the Machine, both stories happening on different occasions. When Sunstreaker and Ratchet need a little guidance, Sideswipe will always be there.
> 
> Ratchet knows how that despite how much he and Sunstreaker love each other, the lone twin wishes to be reunited with Sideswipe. Finding a precariously injured Sunstreaker on his med berth after a battle, Ratchet freezes. Crisis of confidence? Yes, but there is something else too. Is this what Sunstreaker would want, to be brought back into the living? The medic not only needs a boost to his confidence, he needs a little reminder that it is not his decision to make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As both stories take place after the events of Ghost in the Machine, it is probably worth reading that first if you have not already done so.

Ratchet looked at the prone frame on his med berth, it was a sight he had seen time and time again but it had never become any easier for him, never ceased to eat away at his spark, even more so when it was Sunstreaker but now his paranoia of losing his golden lover overwhelmed him. Before every battle he would make Sunstreaker promise to return but this _definitely_ was not how he meant.

The front liner had been taken out pretty early in this particular broil, having been caught in an explosion as he led the Autobot forces into the battle. Now energon poured from the many wounds on his frame and his stats were falling, yet all Ratchet could do was watch, almost as though he was mesmerised by the magenta flow of life.

“Ratchet.”

The medic faintly heard his name being called but he remained motionless, watching.

_“Ratchet!”_

This time the call was more forceful, breaking Ratchet from his trance.

“Standing there staring isn’t going to help him.”

Weary optics looked into those opposite him. “I know he doesn’t want to be here, I know he craves release from his pain.” He whispered.

The quiet words were laden with his sorrow. He had tried being everything Sunstreaker needed and for the most part, he really was but the times he felt Sunstreaker's desire to be reunited with his twin hung so heavily around his spark, it was killing him. Killing him that Sunstreaker felt this way and killing him that he could not help.

“You know that you don’t get to choose for him.”

The medic narrowed his optics and took a moment to gather his thoughts. “When did you become so serious?”

Shoulders shrugged in response. “Besides, it isn’t his time.”

Ratchet snorted, he knew Sunstreaker would disagree with that statement. As far as the front liner was concerned it had been his time when Sideswipe died and Ratchet knew that given half the chance…well he tried not to dwell on that thought.

“It will only be a matter of time before I let him down, before I cannot save him. Time has already proved that one.”

There was a shocked silence for a moment. “When did you become such a defeatist? What happened to the greatest medic to grace the Cybertronian race? The one mech who _can_ actually perform miracles!?”

The medic shuttered his optics in order to clear the ache in his processor and whispered. “He died a little some time ago.”

A sorrowful look was cast over Ratchet’s face as the defeat from the medic rolled off him in waves. “Don’t be so hard on yourself Ratchet. You’ve saved more mechs than anyone, but this is war and I guess not all of us are meant to survive, but that doesn’t mean you get to choose which ones to let go of.”

Ratchet blinked blazing optics back on. “Don’t you think I don’t know that!?” He snapped, his ire at wallowing in his self-pity getting the better of him. “I’ve always treated every mech on my med berth the same, no matter who they are or what they’ve done. No matter what, I try my best.” The last few words petered out into a whisper. The medic no longer had faith in what he did, no longer believed that he gave his best.

“Then why are you not treating Sunstreaker? Why are you risking his life?” The questions were not accusing just concerned, concerned for Ratchet's state of processor, and for the mech laid out on his med berth.

The answer came falteringly. “Because…because he looks so peaceful. Even with all his wounds, he looks at peace. How can I take that away from him? How can I bring him back from the brink of death knowing that he will be in just as much pain as before?” Ratchet dropped his optics to the injured frame of Sunstreaker. He felt that his companion should judge him for his cowardice and he could no longer look him in his optics as his shame burned through him.

The optics that watched him took in the slump of his shoulders, the sadness that marred his face. He had watched how the two of them, Ratchet and Sunstreaker, had learnt to live with their loss stellar-cycles ago but as he watched them from afar, he saw through the façade. It was not always there as there were times when the two were happy, but then something would happen, something that would trigger a memory and everything would become dark once again for the two.

“Ratchet, you need to look at me.” There was a pause in order to give Ratchet time to raise his optics. “You’ve never let anyone down, no matter what the outcome. You’ve always, _always_ done your best and for those who didn't survive, that’s because it was out of your servos!”

These words did not placate the medic as for once, he did not care about any others that he had lost, he only cared for the one he had lost, Sideswipe and now for the one that lay on his med berth, Sunstreaker. In the stellar-cycles that had followed Sideswipes demise, Ratchet thought that he had a handle on his grief but in truth, he had just locked it away in order to help Sunstreaker through. Now with his golden lover unconscious in front of him, that grief had rushed to the surface and had usurped him, rendering him incapable.

He knew that if he released his digits from the clenched balls he currently had them held in, that his normally solid servos would uncharacteristically shake and the CMO could not allow anyone to see how much of a failure he felt.

Shimmering optics watched Ratchet intently and the owner of them wanted to offer physical comfort to the white and red mech, but that was the one thing that he could not give, not anything that would be enough anyway.

The warning alarm on the monitor screamed into the silence of the room, jerking the two from their silent worlds. Sunstreaker was going downhill rapidly and Ratchet needed to act immediately if he wanted a chance of saving him.

“So what’s it going to be doc? Are you going to play Primus or medic?

Ratchet looked at Sunstreaker’s peaceful face plates, free of pain in his off-line state. Could he really lose him? Could he really just let him slip away, even if it was to be reunited with Sideswipe?

Suddenly the watching mech was beside Ratchet and energy washed over him, calming him, reassuring him. The monitor’s alarms continued to pierce their audials but the medic had all but tuned out to it.

“Please Ratchet…” a voice pleaded, “do it for me.”

The plea struck a chord in Ratchet's spark which spurred him into action, servos moving swiftly to the tray full of instruments before hovering over Sunstreaker’s stricken frame as his own frame froze, with the exception of the tools of his trade, his servos. Now Ratchet was unable to hide the tremors that plagued him but he tried to find the courage to continue.

"Sides..."

Despite what Sideswipe had told him about whether or not this was Sunstreaker's time, that it was not his decision to make, Ratchet also knew that whatever he did now would be the difference between life and death and this thought taunted the medic until his spark twisted in its chamber.

“I know you can do it, I have faith in you.”

The medic started shaking his helm. “No…I…what if he hates me, what if he won’t forgive me for bringing him back!?’

“There’s nothing for him to forgive.” Sideswipe's tone then became more forceful, urgent. “Look at him Ratchet, are you ready to lose him? Are you ready to die?”

The white and red mech shuttered his optics for a moment, then blinking them back on, he cast them over the golden mech, taking in every detail as though he had never seen him before. As Ratchet saw his life laid before him, his spark clenched in his chest. Sunstreaker, along with Sideswipe had changed his life in a way that he could never have imagined, not in a million stellar-cycles, and he knew that he could not live without him, would not live without him.

Warm energy continued to envelope him, to caress him, placing utmost trust in him whilst urging him to do what he was meant to do, to give life a fighting chance, to not let the war take a life prematurely. Finally Ratchet found his courage and just as if someone flipped a switch on, the medic’s servos stilled as calmness settled over him and a moment later, he laid his servos on the frame of his lover in order to aid him, to heal him and bring him back from the periphery of death.

“I love you Ratchet.”

Aegean blue optics flickered in time with his spark as the words ghosted across Ratchet's audial, and pausing for just a pulse, he whispered back. “I love you too Sideswipe.”

\----

Ratchet worked fast and hard, his skills second to none and eventually his courage paid off, finally Sunstreaker’s stats steadied before slowly becoming stronger. As always, Ratchet remained by Sunstreaker’s side and as always, he was the first 'bot the front liner saw when he came back on line.

The medic had dozed into a light recharge when deep slits of cobalt appeared on Sunstreaker's slightly marred face, flickering faintly as his processors kicked into life.

Warily turning his helm on the berth, the injured front liner’s optics continued to flicker until they rested on what they sought, widening as the shimmering crimson light that emanated from behind the mostly white recharging form in front of him, highlighted the features the twins could never get enough of. There was a slight frown furrowed in the brow below the flinty coloured chevron and lips constantly moved as Ratchet mumbled a plea to Primus under his breath.

Sunstreaker's optics flicked towards the light which became more solid, features defining until Sideswipe stood there. The golden twin did not utter one word, afraid to break the spell that bound him but his optics relayed everything he needed to say before he watched Sideswipe bend down over Ratchet to speak to him.

“Hey Ratchet.”

The medic stirred but continued to remain in a light recharge.

“Ratchet.” Sideswipe sang, his soft vocalisation drifting through the med bay.

This time Ratchet stirred and a static energy surged through his optics as they slowly came back to life. “Sideswipe?” he asked, not sure if all that had happened had been a memory flux. There was a gentle squeeze on his shoulders before a familiar voice floated through his processor again.

“It’s Sunny, he’s on-line.”

The static energy finally subsided and Ratchet’s optics brightened as he was met by Sunstreaker's gaze.

“Hey you.” Sunstreaker's scratchy vocaliser husked. “Am I disturbing you?”

As a smirk quirked on beautiful face plates, Ratchet flew from his seat and pulled his lover up into his arms. “I’m sorry Sunny, I’m so, so sorry.” He sobbed.

Confusion crept through the bond as the golden mech probed his lover's spark, searching for the reason for his sorrowful apology and when he found it, when he found what haunted the medic he soothed it, washing it all away. All the while he never took his optics of his twin, not wanting to miss a nano-second of his appearance.

“Hush Ratchet.” He cooed, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“But…but I almost let you…”

“But nothing.” He whispered. “I’m still here and all I ask is that you never, ever let me go.”

As Ratchet made a silent promise across their bond, Sideswipe smiled from the side lines. For now they would be ok. For now they would live for each other.


End file.
